My name is Nicky Lawrence, I’m a forward thinking innovator, singer, songwriter, actor, playwright and director. I really appreciate it when I’m asked about how the songs and videos for Ugly Black Woman all came together.
Collectively we are in a fast paced instant gratification society, and this record is the antithesis of that. Ugly Black Woman has taken 10 years to create, cultivate, grow, experience, and shape. On a cellular level, the creative process of this record has been the experiences thrust upon me as life has taken me from the peaks of a mountain to the depths of the valley below.
From “Doormat” to the “Epilogue”, every situation that I found myself in as a woman and most importantly, as a black woman are reflected, lyrically, poetically, and visually. I’m very lucky that I had a beautiful team of writers who have stuck with me throughout the years and endeavored to allow me the freedom and time to cultivate my sound.
As I was performing as an actor over the years in different television shows, I would then use my free time to be in the studio with the producers writing about what was happening to me on a personal level. The title of the album came when I was unceremoniously fired from a very lucrative acting job.
I had a heated discussion with the head of the theatre and was left feeling demean and degraded. When I got home and was writing in my journal, I wrote down the words “God she made me feel like an Ugly Black Woman”. I was so disappointed and once again, put in the position where me standing up for myself as anybody would in that situation was interpreted as the typical angry black woman stereotype.
I decided at that moment that those words I’ve written on that piece of paper would become my Magnum opus. What has been shown so far of the record to date are the singles “Doormat”, “Middle” and “Savage”, two of which are accompanied by music videos! “Doormat” was written at the beginning of this record nearly a decade ago, and was inspired by a friend of mine who thought they could play in my face, and that is where the precise lyric comes from.
What I love about the time that has gone by with regard to the song is that the instrumentation is timeless. I haven’t had to do anything to change it to be more in the style and fashion of what we’re hearing today on the radio-streaming platforms because the influence to that song comes directly from the musical eclecticism with which I was raised.
“Middle” came together as I was introducing two very important friends in my life to each other; John Mavro and Alister Johnson. Ali had a studio space and was asking me if I wanted to come in and do some work with him. Of course I said yes and asked if I could bring John along. Once we got into the studio and had had a few sessions, it was definitely a vibe.
I know that I had broken up with someone as we started to form “Middle” and John had asked me how I was feeling about it while he was playing the guitar. I said I felt stuck in the middle between my feelings and the reality of the situation. Ali jumped up and hopped on one of his keyboards and we all started jamming, that’s when we knew we had something special.
I knew I wanted the video to be multiples of me because at the time that’s how I was feeling in my head, as we all do when we’re sorting through situations you have that voice in your head telling you different things. Although it took me a while to conceptualize, once I saw the visuals in my mind I knew exactly what it is that I wanted to do.
I think it’s a fun way to extrapolate the process. We all go through with humans when we’re stuck between ourselves and it seems as though different people are guiding us in the decisions that we make when it comes to life and romance.
“Savage” and its creative process was definitely a melting pot of different ideas coming together. The one thing that we all collectively knew while we were producing it that we wanted to go throwback to the days of Frankie Knuckles spinning on the ones and twos in the club as you look out over a sweaty dance floor.
My mom and dad are incredible housers and I could picture the baby powder being thrown on the floor so that everybody could groove and show their moves. We also wanted it to be a heart pumping earworm. The video pays homage to the classic silhouette dancer.
I always knew that I wanted to be in silhouette so that you’d have to listen to the lyrics even though you may be grooving in your house or at a party. I’ve always wanted to allow the listener to create their own story as they dance the night away.
In essence, the aforementioned is a snapshot into what Ugly Black Woman is about and how it all came together. Ultimately this piece of work is paying homage to the countless black women who have carved out a path for me to be able to express myself in a genre fluid way that cannot be pigeon-holed. Never have.
I was more thankful for the time grace and patience forwarded to me to be able to make such a statement in the form of music and video. As the record comes out on October 18th, I would say that this will be my new birthday; I really do hope that as a listener, you will embrace the ideas, concepts and themes of this record and that it is a reflection of yourself.
Finally, remember to believe in yourself because where you are today is where you wish you had been all those years ago, so be proud of yourself and shine!
Listen to Ugly Black Woman below and stream it everywhere else here.
Words by Nicky Lawrence // Follow her on Instagram
